5. The Perfect Mummy

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1. Bring the body over here lets take a look
First hook the brain out through the nose

With a number seven hook

A cut just on the left side,

Down there by the tummy
Will bring you one step closer to

Your A1 Perfect Mummy!

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CHORUS

The Perfect Mummy,
Oh yeah! That’s what I said.

We’ve got this job all wrapped up,

You’re in safe hands when you’re dead!

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2. Let’s get inside the body,

Have a good rummage around

We’d best make sure we’ve counted

All the organs that we’ve found.

Lungs, intestines, stomach,

The liver can’t be far
Then dry and pack them neatly

In the right canopic jar.

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CHORUS

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3. Can anyone remember

What to do in this next part?

Rinse with wine and spices

Then replace the heart.
It looks so small and shrivelled,

This Pharaoh could not love

Return it to the body

With a push and a shove.

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CHORUS

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4. Cover the corpse with salt

Wait for seventy days

Stuff it full of linen,

Folded many ways.
Wrap head to toe in bandages,

It’s really not that funny.

Relax, admire a job well done,

You’ve made the perfect mummy.

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CHORUS x2